Slipping into the Darkness
by Lydia Irving
Summary: Takes place after Spirit Bound. Rose is in jail and takes things to the next level so she isnt tried like a criminal. Rated T just to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is my first fanfiction story...so please be nice! This takes place a few days after Spirit Bound, and Rose is in her jail cell. **

**also, I would like to say that I really dont think that Rose would do something like this, she seems like too strong a character, but I was bored and this story came to mind :D I am not sure if I am going to continue this yet. **

**xoxo**

**Lydia**

I couldn't believe I was about to do something that I swore I would never do. But it seemed so painfully inevitable. I was going to be executed for high treason; for killing the queen. I was going to have to stand in a court room while people I didn't even know spouted lies about me; I was going to have to hear that I was found guilty. I would wait in my jail cell for guardians to come and take me into a high security room where I could say my goodbyes to the people I loved. And then I would die.

The thought put a great aching in my chest. I shouldn't be here! I thought desperately. Wait; scratch that…I should be here, just not for the crime they think I committed. Releasing a monster like Victor Dashkov back into the world after his ass was rightly thrown in jail was a pretty big offence, but at least I would live. Even if a life in jail wasn't much of a life at all.

These thoughts are the ones that finally made up my mind. I was going to kill myself. Ah, the irony of it! The idea of me going so over the edge because of Lissa's darkness once made me cringe. And now, even after being free from school, rescuing the man I love from a life worse then death (even he did refuse to talk to me), finally having a relationship with my parents, and having a man who loved me so much that he could over look the fact that I still had feelings for my used-to-be-strigoi ex-boyfriend; I was going to end my life all because I was too much of a coward to look into the eyes of the executioner before he injected poison into my blood stream. Because I was too much of a coward to have the words "May God have mercy on your soul" spoken to me before I was killed like a common criminal. It would be too much.

The glint of the knife in my hand didn't scare me; it was like a peace offering in the battle that was my life; a little white flag that was going to end everything so I could finally get some rest. I picked up the knife with shaking fingers, and thought of those I loved best. I apologized to Lissa for the pain I was about to cause her, but she would get over it. Dimitri had sworn to protect her, and she would always be safe. Now that she had Christen back he could comfort her. I shed a tear for Dimitri who, even after all he said about not loving me, faced a small army of guardians so they wouldn't take me away. And lastly I said I was sorry to Adrian who was really too good for me to begin with. I just wished that they would actually get to hear my heartfelt words instead of me just thinking them.

I pressed the tip of the blade to my wrist, like I had seen Lissa do a thousand times before, although I would go much deeper. I would press this knife into me until all my life's blood had been drained along with my thoughts and my fears. Death would be peaceful.

I pressed it in deeper, and cut a slash over my wrist, the blood started gushing immediately. While I still had enough strength I slit the other wrist, the pain dulling as the world blurred into one big clouded mess. I could feel myself slipping into the black oblivion. My last thought before the world went black, was that someone was being awfully loud out in the next room.


	2. Chapter 2

LPOV

My heart was pounding out a jagged rhythm and a hard ball of anxiety was sitting like a stone at the bottom of my stomach. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and took a deep breath. _It will all be okay, nobody could handle this better then them. She is in capable hands. _Ugh, who was I kidding! Everything I cared about was on the line! My best friend was locked in jail and my boyfriend was participating in the risky plan to break her out! A girl could only take so much stress. But the worst part of it all was, as always, I was left to sit around and wait for everybody to do the dirty work while I sat on the side lines. Rescuing Dimitri had been…exhilarating. I had finally gotten to do something for Rose instead of the other way around. I had faced death, I had gotten my hands dirty (well, burned) and had saved a life that would otherwise have been lost. I had helped out the one person who was always there for me no matter what. And now that person was in trouble and her life depended on this plan. I didn't know what I would do if this turned out bad. How will I cope? The answer was painfully simple; I wouldn't.

Meanwhile in DPOV

This was risky. Actually it was just plain stupid. But there was no end to the things I would do to protect Rose. She had risked so much just for a small shred of hope that I would be saved, and now I would do the same for her. The plan was fairly simple; Abe would walk into the prison and get past the first guards, claiming that he had to speak to his client. When he and his guardians got past they would take care of the guards closest to Rose so that the others could be taken down easily. That was mine and Mikhail's job. Christen had also insisted on coming along, I didn't like him risking himself, but the more people we had the better, he would stay off to the side unless we absolutely needed him. After getting Rose out of the cell, we would make a _very _hasty getaway to the car waiting outside. We had some of Lissa's charmed rings to help disguise ourselves, but I was pretty sure that the big Russian guy who attacked guardians just a few days ago would be a main suspect. Better safe then sorry I guess.

Abe and his guards had just passed the first door and were now in the little room just before the holding cells, as soon as I saw one of his guardians strike out, me and Mikhail ran into the room trying to get to as many guards as we could. There were five, but we couldn't risk the chance of someone activating an alarm. We had rendered four unconscious, but the fifth was making his way to the alarm. Faster then I could blink, a stream of fire was hurdled at him before inclosing his body completely, as the flames quickly flickered away I landed a punch to his head and banged him against the wall, silently thanking Tasha for teaching her nephew how to use the defensive attacks. We went through the two doors and made our way to Rose's cell. I expected her to be banging on the bars, anxious to get out. But what I saw there made my heart stop…and I prayed to God that hers hadn't stopped as well.


	3. Authors Note

Authors Note-

First of all I would like to say THANK YOU for the good reviews! I was really nervous about putting things up here and I really appreciate that you all took the time to give me your opinion. I will try to update soon, but to be quite honest I am not so sure what is going to happen next. It is hard to make a story that will live up to Richelle's wonderful characters. I also forgot to put up an authors note for chapter 2, I am not extremely happy with it, but it was hard to write in a guys POV. Not to mention the fact that I'm not exactly an expert on planning battle strategies :P

Once again, thank you all so much!

xoxo

Lydia


	4. Chapter 3

RPOV

I really hoped I wasn't dead. Not because death scared me; I mean I just tried to kill myself. But because if death was this friggin' uncomfortable, then I _really_ got screwed over. All this time I had thought that the ghosts that were always rallying for my attention were sad because their life had been taken from them. Turns out, it's just because they had a serious kink in their neck, things poking at them from all areas of their body, and some sort of object that was digging into their back. Great.

As I became a little more aware, I could here voices and feel that someone was holding my hand.

"When do you think she will wake up?"

"We can't really be sure. Your healing did most of the work but we still had to replace all of the blood she lost. She almost died, Lissa. It's only natural for her to sleep."

So I wasn't dead. And Lissa? Why was she here? And if I wasn't dead then that must mean that I'm still am Court! Crap! Now I would have to be executed, and if I had a small shot at getting free before, then now is was microscopic. I would look completely guilty!

I sigh came from next to me, "I know. I'm just anxious for her to get up. Why would she do something like that? I was always the weak one who needed a way out, and she never understood how my cutting helped me cope. I just don't see why she would do the same thing! How could she just give up like that?"

Lissa's voice sounded close to hysterics. I felt a pang of guilt as I thought about what she must have gone through, I would have been chomping at the bit if she were in my position. What I had done was selfish, I could see that clearly. But was it really so awful for me to do one thing for me before my life ended?

I needed to talk to Lissa. And in order to that I need to open my eyes. The sensation was odd, almost like I didn't know where to find them. Finally I opened my eyes, only to shut them again. God, the light was bright!

I slowly began to open them again, letting my eyes adjust, before turning to Lissa.

"Rose!" Her eyes lit up and she pulled me into a hug. I was glad to have her close, but I was too weak to put my arms around her.

"Ugh, I was so worried! Why would you do something so stupid? I mean, you had to know that I would never let you rot in some jail cell! And with your fathers 'connections' you had to know we would get you out. You've been asleep for three days now, _three days!" _She took a deep breath and looked at me funny. It was only then that I realized my eyes where brimming with moister. I, Rose Hathaway, who _never_ cried was sobbing like a baby into Lissa's lap. I cried for causing my best friend so much sadness, and for my father who risked everything to help me. I even cried for Christen, who I knew had to have some part in helping me out, even if it was just because he knew it would make Lissa happy. And I couldn't help crying a little bit for myself, because I'm so damn pathetic, that even after all that happened, I was still upset to find that Dimitri wasn't here.


	5. Chapter 4

**I now have a pretty good idea on what is going to happen for the next few chapters, so I'm hoping to update them quickly. Thank you all so much for the positive comments! It really means a lot!**

**I also realize I forgot to put a disclaimer on here….I don't own anything, all of the characters belong to Richelle Mead. Sorry if some of my words aren't spelt correctly, I couldn't get suggestions for the Russian words. **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia **

When I was finally done crying and had apologized to Lissa for the umpteenth time, I decided it was time to get up. I hadn't seen the room I was in before, and I was pretty sure that I had never been here before in my life. I didn't know this room, but it seemed oddly familiar. Lissa had gone outside a few minutes ago to go get me a glass of water. She gave me strict orders to stay in bed, but I was never really one to follow rules.

I got out of the bed on shaky legs and looked around the room, getting another wave of déjà vu. The room wasn't familer, but the essence of it was. I stumbled over to the door and cursed under my breath when I realized I would have to walk down a flight of stairs. I took a deep breath and slowly started down them, it was amazingly frustrating to be so helpless, I killed the undead for a living and now I couldn't make it down steps without falling. Finally, I swallowed my pride and went sliding down the stairs on my butt, much like me and Liss used to do, way back when.

I got to the bottom feeling slightly nauseous and winded. As soon I stepped into the living room I felt a grin spread across my face. I was at Mark and Oksana's house in Baia! I let out a little squeal, I knew it was childish but I just slid down the stairs butt style…I didn't have much to loose.

Mark's eyes met mine and he came up and gave me a big a hug, Oksana got up from the couch and did the same. She had tears in her eyes and kept rocking me back and forth. I was really feeling the love until Lissa came in and yelled at me for getting up. The whispered "Dumb ass" from her was also a real "moment" killer.

"Ugh, I missed you guys!" I said, squeezing them both a little tighter. They both pulled away at the same moment when someone walked into the room.

"Rose?"

I froze; I would know that voice anywhere. I turned around slowly to face Dimitri. My heart gave its usual stuttering reaction when I saw his face, but I was sure that my expression showed nothing but surprise. Why was he here? My heart gave out another jagged rhythm when I thought about him helping me. _No, not you. Lissa. _ I was instantly filled with bitterness. He didn't love me anymore; he was just indebted to Lissa.

This time, I was sure my face betrayed the hurt that was coursing through me.

Dimitri must have seen it because he looked away; at the floor, the couch, a picture frame, before settling on Lissa, Mark and Oksana.

"Can I have a moment alone with Rose, please?" They all shuffled out looking uncomfortable. I was tempted to follow them; you could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

"Roza— He stopped himself, seeing his mistake in calling me by my nickname. Taking a deep breath, he continued.

"Rose, I don't understand. Why would you…?" He cut off again and took another deep breath.

Seeming at a loss for words he stepped closer, I drew in a shaky breath to find him so close. Ever since he had been saved we had either been separated by metal bars, Lissa, and more often then not, his stubbornness. I could see a familiar conflict raging in his eyes; the same battle that he had been fighting with his conscious for a whole year now.

I stared in disbelieve as he came even closer, taking hold of my elbows. Just as he was leaning in, the door crashed open.

"Little Damphir!"

Well damn.


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry that this chapter is pretty uneventful. It really is just sort of a filler so everyone could be clear on what happened between the jail break and now. Also, I'm not really sure how a hospital would have handled that whole "situation" so I just took a guess. I'm not so sure on what is going to happen now, but I will try to update as soon as I can. I will also be trying to make my chapters a little longer, I never realize how short they are until they are posted. Thank you all again for the reviews!**

**xoxo**

**-Lydia**

Dimitri looked up with a startled expression that quickly turned into relief. Ouch. As much as I knew that Adrian wasn't at fault here, I couldn't help but be mad at him for interrupting. I mean, really? Dimitri has been denying his feelings ever since he was turned back to a Dhampir, he had battered and bruised me with his ignoring me and then finally crushed me completely with the "love fades, mine has," thing he had going on. And when he finally, _finally_ gets some sense in that lovely head of his…Adrian bursts through the door with a big happy grin on his face and swoops me up in a big hug, unknowing that he didn't even exist two seconds ago because I was about kiss Dimitri.

I gave a big sigh and hugged him back; _don't be so hard on him, Rose. He is your boyfriend after all._ That thought made me wince. Here I was acting all pissed because my boyfriend walked in on me and my ex-boyfriend. It really wasn't fair.

"God, you had us all worried." He sounded so sincere and serious, which was odd for Adrian. He always had a smart-ass thing to say. His worry just made everything harder; as much as I loved Dimitri, I couldn't deny that I had feelings for Adrian. They were both just so opposite, Adrian had his vices, like smoking and drinking (he was almost never sober) but he was sweet and funny and sarcastic. He acted a lot like me actually. But Dimitri was everything serious and passionate, a real bad-ass whose smiles were rare and laughs even more so, but he was always able to share one with me.

Dimitri was looking away now; I could see him over Adrian's head, seeing as it was buried in my shoulder. Did he look jealous? Or was that just wishful thinking on my part.

Adrian finally pulled away and gave me the details of the trip, which was pretty nice of him considering nobody else had told me. Apparently, Dimitri (yes, Dimitri) came up with the whole lets-break-Rose-out of- jail plan with the help of Adrian, Lissa, Christen, Mikhail, and Abe. They would have had an easy victory if I hadn't gone to such extremes. Because of my, um...situation, they were slowed down drastically and had to face more guardians because of it. I felt a lot of guilt over that, but it wasn't my entire fault. They could have told me that they were breaking me out.

After making a hasty getaway in a waiting car, they drove to a hospital to fix me up. The doctors only got as far as bandaging me up and giving me blood transfusions to get me somewhat back to normal. I would have stayed there much longer because of my condition, but the hospital wasn't that far away from court. So once I was at least semi ready to go, they took a privet plane to Saint Petersburg, courtesy of another one of Abe's "connections". After that we took a very long and, according to Adrian, boring car ride to Baia. Now, we were to hang out here at Mark and Ocsana's until we got some sort of lead to where Lissa's half brother or sister was.

Needless to say, Lissa was upset about finding out about her dad. But Mark and Ocsana were distracting her and Adrian by working on some Spirit tricks.

So now here I was,a fugitive hiding in Middle of Nowhere Siberia with my best friend, her obnoxious boyfriend, my kneecap breaking father, my ex -lover, and current boyfriend all nice and cozy under one roof. This was going to be tougher then I thought. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Thanks so much to Valissa Dragomir, CaRiNeSs, Sportfreaky13, Destinee Rose Belikov, BougieJoanna, ChickRockGuitar, mases girl, and SKDanielle for all of the positive comments! **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia**

Mark and Oksana contacted the Belikovs' as soon as I woke up. I don't know why they waited until then to do so, but as soon as Dimitri's family found out that he was back, there was no stopping them. His mother rushed through the door without knocking and latched onto her son. His sisters followed soon after, all trying to find a spot to hug. Yeva hung back with Paul and the rest of the kids who didn't know Dimitri that well. Normally, I would think that Yeva wasn't happy to see her grandson in front of her, safe and clearly not undead, but I figured that Dimitri's creepy ass grandmother probably saw this coming awhile ago. I silently hoped that she didn't see me; my last conversation with her happened before I knew she spoke English and went along the line of "What? Did a house fall on your sister or something" Yeah, I'm thinking I'm definably staying hidden.

Dimtri's mother and sisters were still hanging on for dear life and I felt tears sting my eyes. Since when did I become such a softy? They were all crying and I heard someone, probably his mom, saying "Dimka" over and over. I know it was wrong, but I felt a pang of jealousy looking at this, because Dimitri was hugging them back. I wasn't even good enough to look at but his family gets to be covered in hugs and kisses? _I want some hugs and kisses, damn it! _

Suddenly, Olena broke away from Dimitri and walked over to me, enveloping me in a big hug. I was stunned. I had gotten close to Dimitri's family on my trip to find him, but when I left I though that I had thrown away my chance to be apart of their family. My little fight with Viktoria didn't help much either. But as I looked hesitantly to Dimitri's youngest sister, I could see it plain as day that I was forgiven.

I let go of Olena and walked over to Viktoria, wrapping my arms around her. The moister in my eyes leaked over and I found myself crying into Vikoria's neck.

"I'm so sorry for what I said to you, Rose. You were right about Rolan, he wasn't worth it."

"I'm sorry too, no matter how much of a douche Rolan was, and Rolan was a major douche, I had no right to interfere like that. I just didn't want you to do something that I knew you would regret." She hugged me tighter, and I could sense the others watching us from their places around the room.

I was glad that I had my mom and my dad now, but the Belikovs' would always be a family to me. Even if Dimitri wanted nothing to do with me, I knew that his family would stick by my side no matter what. The thought put a warm jolt through my chest as I looked around at all the people I loved. Even Christen!

Everything was going great until Olena said, "Oh, you too must be so happy to have each other back!" while glancing at me and Dimitri with her heart in her eyes. The whole room went silent.

Awkward much?


	8. Chapter 7

I blushed and looked over at Dimitri who, much to my surprise was blushing as well. It looked like neither of us really knew what to say, Adrian took advantage of the moment and came up to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders possessively.

That was a really bad idea on his part.

Dimitri looked at him murderously. Adrian wasn't a wimp, but at the moment he had six foot badass guardian who was giving him the death glare. Hell, even I was scared. Adrian gave me a helpless look that I didn't really know how to deal with. What was I supposed to do? Hurt flashed in his eyes but he took his arm from around me and stuck both his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat; his gaze resting on everything in the room that didn't have a face.

I expected Dimitri to do something, and I was sort of hoping it would revolve around him answering with a resounding "YES!" to his mothers question, even if that was incredibly selfish of me. I hated hurting Adrian, but it was hard to keep my emotions in check when they were all over the place. Dimitri finally answered.

"Things are a bit…complicated right now, mom." She looked at us with pursed lips but then smartly dropped the subject by bringing Paul and the other kids over to say hello to Dimitri.

When he had met all of his new nieces and nephews he motioned for me to join him outside. My heart was thumping in my chest as I walked behind him into the back yard; it gave a small jerk as he turned around to face me again. I might feel bad for him because of what he is going through, but I only had so much control.

"So you're okay with your family? They don't have to go banging on cell walls just to get you to look at them?" This was wrong. I knew that what I was saying was awful, but I was pissed. He gave a frustrated sigh.

"I didn't hurt them the way I hurt you. It's different."

"How many times are we going to have this conversation? I. Forgive. You! And even if I didn't, this little plan of yours still wouldn't make sense! If I was the one you are convincing yourself you hurt so badly, then why are you making amends with Lissa?"

He had a pained expression on his face and I really hoped because he was questioning his logic.

"I just…I just'

"You just what? Is this some messed of way of punishing me?"

"I'm punishing me!" He screamed suddenly, loosing all of his control. He slid down against the house and put his head in his hands. My jaw dropped and I let out my breath in a huge _whoosh._ He was punishing himself? I didn't even want to let myself hope incase he broke my heart again.

"I remember every single second of being that monster. I remember seeing you talking to that crazy old lady and thinking about how your blood smelt. I remember you trying everything you could to get free and me laughing at your attempts. I can still see you with your bruised neck because I bit it so much, and that you were so dizzy that you got attacked by a human. I remember you crying and me calling you weak because of it.

I did so many awful things to you and when I was saved, I just wanted to make up for it. I wanted to put myself through the hell that I put you through."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I couldn't believe what he was saying. All this time he had still loved me.

"You may forgive me, but I can never forgive myself."

I slid down next to him on the wall and put my arm on his shoulder. He looked up at me with tear filled eyes and I could believe it. The big strong guardian whose poker face never faulted was crying. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close while he cried. Most people would think that he was a wimp for sobbing like he was, but Dimitri had earned a good long cry.

Right now it didn't matter if Dimitri ever wanted something romantic with me again, or if we could ever go back to what we were before. I just wanted him to feel better about himself, and I felt like a real bitch for not wanting that sooner. I would help Dimitri no matter what it took, I didn't care of it took time from finding Lissa's half brother or sister or even if it messed up my relationship with Adrian.

Dimitri's life had been taken away from him, and I was going to do anything in my power to get it back.

**Sorry that this chapter was kinda cheesy. I'm not very good at writing dialog, but I felt like this conversation was needed. :P **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia**


	9. Authors Note 2

**Okay, so I am having a little trouble deciding what is going to happen next. I want to stay true to Richelle Mead's characters but since I can't exactly get into her head it's hard. So if anyone has any ideas or opinions on what they want to happen then feel free to leave a comment! Although I won't use somebody's whole idea because I still want to give you a few surprises. **

** I feel pretty bad about taking suggestions from others when **_I _**wanted to write the story but I feel worse not updating because my brain doesn't have anymore ideas :P I will try to update as soon as I can! Thanks again for the reviews 3 **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia**


	10. Chapter 8

**So here's another chapter! Sorry that all of my chapters right now are fillers, but I think that Rose needed to set some things straight :P **

** Also, to answer RockyMtnMAG's question…I never really thought about how she got the knife, I saw something similar on a Law and Order episode and had a "hmmm…what if?" moment, :D . Thank you for all of the reviews, I am being completely honest when I say that they make my whole day!**

**xoxo**

**-Lydia **

Adrian looked at me like he could not believe what I had just said had actually come out of my mouth. I don't know why it surprised him so much; he had to have seen this coming.

"What?" he choked out finally, not able to find his voice.

"Look, I'm sorry Adrian. Really I am. But it isn't fair to anyone if we keep doing this."

"You mean it isn't fair to _him!_" He had gotten his voice back, and boy did I wish it had taken a little longer. He was shouting now, but that made it easier, in a way. If he was going to act like a jerk then so could I.

"No, I mean that this is better for everyone. I don't want to break up with you, I meant every word I ever said to you, but would you really want to go out with me if you knew I still had feelings for Dimitri? Would you really be able to kiss me knowing that the whole time I could be thinking of someone else?"

"That's crap Rose and you know it! You may not be completely selfish, but I don't believe that you would do something like this for anyone other then yourself. You just want an easy way out so you can move in on some guy who doesn't even give a damn about you anymore!"

Now I was angry.

How could he even think that? For the past year now, everything I had done was to please someone else. The only thing I had done for myself was letting myself have a relationship with Dimitri, not that I could have stopped that even if I wanted to, but still! And after all we had been through together I thought that Adrian would understand. Or at least want me to be happy.

"That is so not true! And I'm not even with Dimitri, right now things are complicated. I'm a fugitive for craps sake! I don't exactly have time to snuggle up to you when ever you are in the mood to have a girlfriend. Which, lets face it, isn't very often. You don't even need me anyway! It looked like you had forgotten me completely when those showgirls walked by us in Vegas!" Okay, so that was low. But it was true; Adrian was famous for being a womanizer of sorts. I hated hurting him, but what was I supposed to do?

Adrian looked ready to punch something. "I am sorry Adrian; I just can't be so torn anymore. One minute I feel like I don't need Dimitri anymore because I have this great and sweet boyfriend who would do anything for me. And then I see him and I wish that I had never agreed to give you a shot because then things would be so much less complicated." I had started out yelling, but as I confessed more my voice had grown softer and more apologetic.

"Whatever, Rose." He said before walking away, heading down the hill to where the town was. I took a shaky breath trying to hold back much unneeded tears. I was so broken anymore, I wish I could be the happy, spunky Rose that I was before but I had matured too much for that. The world didn't seem like one big party anymore; a party that you could get drunk at so everything around you would look good. It was a messed up scary place and I had almost taken the easy way out by taking my own life. And I realized now how stupid that was, because I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready yet. I had a best friend who I couldn't imagine living without, I had a badass mother and a dad with awesome hair and I had two great guys—wait, make that one. I was pretty sure the only thing Adrian would do for me right now was tell me to go to hell, but he was still a really great guy.

I didn't want to die; but if I was being honest with myself, I would admit that most things happen whether you want them to or not.


	11. Chapter 9

When I walked back into the house after mine and Adrian's fight Dimitri was sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable. I blushed realizing that he must have heard what Adrian and I had been saying, or rather, shouting.

"You heard." I said, it wasn't a question.

"Hard not to." He said, just as uncomfortable as I was right now. "You know you didn't have to do that, Roza."

"Yeah, I did actually."

"But…if he makes you happy," This is why I loved Dimitri. He always thought of others before he though of himself. And to think that he had accused me of this same problem!

"I just…I can't be any help to Lissa if I am too worried about my own problems. Finding Lissa's brother or sister is way more important then making sure Adrian has his Daily Dose of Girlfriend. It wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway."

"Why couldn't it have?" I really appreciated his concern for me, but I would like it a little more if it didn't sound like he was trying to change my mind about Adrian. That was just hurtful. I would stick to my vow of helping him whether or not he wanted me in "that way" but that didn't mean that his words were going to just roll off me.

"Because he's a Moroi." I said with a shrug, as if that explained everything. "And anyway he started talking about stuff that…I would have rather been left unsaid."

"Like what?" Ugh, damn Dimitri…I was being cryptic for a reason!

"I don't know, like…like marriage and stuff." We didn't really discuss it, but his subtle comments had left me pretty uncomfortable. I was a guardian; I could never picture leaving that life to be someone's housewife. And then kids would come after that; I don't even like kids! They just sit there and stare at you with their tiny eyes and you have to wipe their butts and noses and stuff. It was just plain disgusting.

Dimitri looked shocked that the infamous Adrian would even think about getting so serious. I felt another pang of guilt when I thought about how much Adrian had changed for me. I hadn't exactly been the easiest girlfriend. But he had stuck with me through it all; why-I-should-be-your-boyfriend essays, no illegal substances, grandmaster plans to save your ex boyfriend who you may or may not still have feelings for.

Dimitri must have seen the tortured expression on my face because he let it drop. A knock on the door made both of us turn around and look. My heart was pumping so fast I wouldn't doubt that Dimitri could here it, my stomach rolled; who could that be? What if it was someone from court; Guardians coming to take me back? Only this time it would be ten times worse because not only would I be in trouble but so would everyone else I cared about. I walked slowly toward the door only to be stopped by Dimitri. I felt bad making him open it because I was too scared, but I honestly didn't even think I could move my legs right now.

The knocking became more insistent and then just as Dimitri was about to open it the door flew off its hinges and would have landed on Dimitri had he not moved out of the way so fast.

There in the door way was all five feet of my badass mother and she looked like she was going to kill someone; me most likely.

I almost wish it had been the Guardians.


	12. IMPORTANT AN

Sorry that I haven't updated for so long and sorry that I am putting another authors note up on here. I have been pretty busy and then when I sat down to write some more for this, I got an idea for a FanFic that I just couldn't wait to get started on. It's called Moving On and it takes place after Shadow Kissed, Dimitri was never turned and he decided to take Tasha's offer. I know that this has been done many times, but I am hoping that mine is at least a little different. I will try to get another chapter up here soon, but in the meantime…checkout my new one :D

xoxo

-Lydia


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